Change is in the air

I’ve been wanting to write this for a few weeks now, but I kept putting it off. I’d find other things to do instead, and tell myself I’d do it tomorrow. Just 60 words in, I’ve got tears rolling down my cheeks and blurring my vision. They’re tears of joy, fear, nostalgia, doubt: quite the melting pot of emotions.

Over the last few months, Pierre and I have been thinking, discussing, and thinking again, and we both came to the same conclusion: we’re ready for a change. I’ll spare you all the details about the how and the why, but we’ve decided to sell our house and buy my in-laws’ family home, where my parents-in-law live, and leave our lovely neighbourhood for the countryside.

This decision will bring about a lot of change for everyone in our family. I’ve decided to be open about it because I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels such a wave of emotions when a move is on the horizon.

I’m not unhappy where we live now – quite the opposite. We live in a wonderful area with amazing neighbours, close to all our favourite amenities and my kids’ schools, steps from my mother’s, just a few minutes from the highway, restaurants, parks, and plenty of other services.

This is the house where I raised my children. Where I watched Philippe take his first steps. Where the kids learned to ride their bikes. This is the neighbourhood where I’ve walked my kids to school hundreds, maybe thousands, of times. Where we’ve spent every Halloween. We have no shortage of good memories here.

So why move?

There comes a time when you have to think about the future and what you want from it, about what would be best for the family. The decision to sell wasn’t an easy one. In all honesty, there were plenty of pros and cons for both scenarios.

My in-laws’ house is in the countryside, a few kilometres outside Sherbrooke, and it’s a wonderful place to be together as a family. Not only is there plenty of privacy, I’m also drawn to how well situated it is in its natural surroundings and how spacious the property is.

I’m really looking forward to building an even stronger bond with my husband and children. I know that might sound odd, given that I work from home most of the time, but I really want to build a new family home, as it were.

I also won’t deny that my life can be quite busy (!!!) and sometimes stressful, and in recent years I’ve realized how important nature and tranquility are to me.

Another major factor in our decision is my kids: despite the fact that we live near a park and a bike path and we have a great yard, I feel as though my children haven’t quite learned how to be kids… playing outside for hours on end, having fun in the woods, exploring, imagining, discovering. We live in a world of overabundance and consumerism, and I feel like this change will give them a chance to learn there’s more to life.

I sincerely believe that change is necessary in order to grow and to help define our lives. However, a change like this is also a risk, since we don’t know exactly how our new reality will unfold. That being said, we decided to be bold and take a leap of faith.

Spring and summer will be busy. We’re currently in the ‘home staging / sales preparation’ phase while we plan both our move and renovations to our new home.

We’re all experiencing some ups and downs. The kids have moments of sadness and anxiety. As for me, I’m trying to take one day at a time and trying to support the kids as best I can. I’m also trying to be present in each moment. I know that I’ve already started the grieving process for what will be our ‘old’ home,[SH1]  and despite some difficult moments, I’m doing all right.

I can’t predict how things will turn out, since there are plenty of things outside our control (like how long the sale of our house will take), but I’m not hiding from anything. I know that there will be hard moments: when the sale is final, packing the last boxes, saying goodbye to our neighbours and the area, to our reality of the last several years. Just thinking about that moment, when I’ll close the door to my house for the last time, is enough to set off the tears. So I try not to think about it too much. 

In life, I firmly believe that sooner or later, we get signs that a decision we’ve made is a good one or a bad one.

In the last few weeks, I’ve seen our family become more united. We’re working together towards a common goal. We’re talking more, and we’re preparing for this change together. To be honest, it’s a little surprising, but at the same time I’m relieved and it gives me hope that we’ve made the right decision.

Another positive sign: I’ve stopped crying. ;-)

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